It's Funnier In Enochian
by lilynicole1313
Summary: Almost a year after 'Savior of an Archangel', Castiel feels like he has no one special, and is moping around, not answering Dean's calls, and generally feeling sad. So, his two big brothers, Gabriel and Michael decide to pull a few strings and find Cas's mate for him as well. Rules are broken and hilarity ensues when the garrison's most clueless angel meets a complete nerd. R&R :)
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

"Gabriel, what's wrong with Castiel?" Michael asked, watching his younger brother with concern.

"No idea. Ever since your wedding, he's been kind of mopey." Gabriel sighed. "I don't know what to do."

Michael thought for a minute. "I think I have an idea."

He flew over to Cupid's office, the interior decorated in pink and read hearts. Michael looked around for the love angel, and, not seeing him, opened the file cabinet drawer marked 'Angel's Mates'. He flipped through the papers, looking for Castiel's name. "Aha!" He smiled, taking not only Castiel's but Gabriel's as well.

"What are you doing?" Gabriel asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." Michael tucked the papers in his pants pocket. "Don't worry about it, little brother."

Gabriel frowned, hating to be left out of things. "Michael, tell me."

"Don't say a word to Dad or Cupid. I'm going to find Castiel's mate."

The fun-loving archangel's face lit up. "You're gonna need help. No offense, but I'm a pretty good match-finder."

"Fine." Michael reluctantly agreed.

"So, Mike, how was the honeymoon?" Gabriel waggled his eyebrows, grinning. "Where are we going?"

"I'm going to back to New Orleans."

SPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPNSPN

Castiel was extremely happy for his brother and for the Winchesters, but there was a deep sadness in his chest he couldn't let go. If Cas was going to be honest with himself, he was a little jealous. Sam had a wife and two kids to go home to, to help him with his troubles; Dean had a sassy, spunky girlfriend who understood Dean more than Dean understood Dean; Michael had someone who instilled a love for most of humanity in him and changed the oldest archangel for the better. Castiel had nobody. He pulled his knees to his chest, watching the people below.

If only he could've found out who his soul mate was when he went looking for the Winchesters', but God had told them to not break into Cupid's office again, and there was no way the love angel would tell Cas anything. He looked over to see Michael and Gabriel talking, probably about archangel duties. Then, Cas heard the prayer of his favorite human. "Cas, got your ears on? We need you."

He smiled slightly. He was wrong. He had Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Supernatural :(**

**A/N: This is the fourth in my Mission: Winchester's Cupid series, yet it can stand alone and shout-out to NicoleR85 for requesting that I write two more, one for Gabriel and one for Castiel! :) This is a slash story, so don't like, don't read, but please, don't hate. Also, if you're a Harry Potter fan as well, go check out my Chronicles of Charlotte Potter series! It's good! :) As always, please, PLEASE leave a review! I love them and I try to respond to all! XD**

* * *

Chapter One

Castiel sat behind the counter at A to Z Apothecary with Sam's oldest, six-year-old Alice on his lap. She was coloring, deep in concentration, while her mother and uncle were bringing more items to stock up. He smiled at the brunette, a perfect replica of Sam when he was her age, save the different gender and the magical ability. "What are you coloring, Alice?"

"A puppy for Daddy. I have to be extra nice so's I can ask him for a real puppy."

"What kind of puppy would you like?"

She shrugged, carefully coloring the spots on the dog black. "Momma has a hellhound, but Daddy makes it stay with Uncle Crowley. I just want a normal puppy."

The door opened and Zoey brought another box in. "Thanks, Cas, I really appreciate this."

"It's no problem, Zoey." He reassured her. "She's a sweet child."

"It's cause I eat lots of sugar." She piped up. "That's what D told me."

Zoey shook her head. "Yeah, well, D eats a lot of my pies, but he's still not sweet."

Alice giggled, sliding the coloring page over, and looking for another one. Zoey then disappeared back outside for another box. "Uncle Cas, what would you like?" She asked sweetly.

"Well, I do like cats and guinea pigs."

She nodded and picked out a picture of a kitten playing with a ball of yarn and began to color it. "Cats are the best." A deep voice said, walking in.

Castiel looked up in surprise. A young man, his hair a bright blue, and covered in tattoos with a few piercings started looking around. "Do you need help finding anything?" He asked, wondering why his heart rate had doubled.

"That's the last of the boxes." Zoey held the door open for her brother. "Give Nic a huge hug for me, okay, Connor?"

"Will do."

"Uncle Connor!" Alice squealed. "Are you staying here with Momma?"

He turned in the direction of her voice. "No, Ali, but I'm coming over for dinner tonight."

"Okay! I'll tell Henry when we get home." She jumped from Cas's lap to give him a hug. "I love you!"

"I love you too, munchkin." He kissed her forehead.

She planted a kiss on his cheek and then went back to Cas. "You don't have any protection amulets?" The stranger asked, getting Zoey's attention.

"Give me a second and we will." She answered as Connor left. Zoey waved her hands at the five boxes and the items began putting themselves on the shelf.

The young man stared at her in shock, taking a few steps backward. "Jedi or Sith Lord?"

Alice frowned at him. "Do you see a lightsaver?"

"Lightsaber, Ali." Zoey corrected kindly.

"I don't get it." Castiel said, cocking his head.

"Oh, well, it's a Star Wars thing, man." The stranger said quickly, offering a crooked smile. "Wait, you're a witch, aren't you?" He asked Zoey.

"If I say yes are you going to do the stupid hunter thing and try to kill me?"

"Uh, no? My uncle Bobby Singer sent me here. Said you had the best supplies for a hunt." He held out his hand. "Teddy Evans."

"Zoey Winchester and yes, I am a witch." They shook hands. "Everything here was made by either me, my brother, or his girlfriend, so I know they work."

"Why's your hair blue?" Alice asked, her attention now on the stranger.

"Better blue than pink, right, kid?"

Alice nodded. "I hate pink. My favorite color's red, like in Harry Potter."

"Really?" His grin widened. "Your parents must be pretty cool, letting you watch Star Wars and Harry Potter."

She nodded, pointing at Zoey. "That's my momma."

"Well, Mrs. Winchester, you have an awesome daughter." He paused. "Wait a sec. Are you married to a Winchester?"

"Yeah, Sam. Bobby's probably mentioned both of them." She said.

"He did." He said evenly, walking to the protection amulets.

Alice went back to coloring and Castiel allowed himself to look at the stranger. He was Dean's height, although he was skinnier than Dean, and his eyes were grey-blue. Zoey moved behind the counter, sitting down on the chair beside Cas. "Momma, can I have a puppy?"

"I told you, Alice, that's between you and your dad." She replied, watching Teddy browse her merchandise.

The bell above the door rang and Sam ducked to avoid hitting his head on the doorframe. His normally brown hair was a brilliant shade of green and he held a one-year-old ginger boy in his arms. "Hey, Dean's on his way. He's like an hour out. Emily'll be here soon, too. And, I finished cleaning, and he's been crying for an hour for you." He passed the infant, who was still sniffling, to his wife.

Zoey held him and he immediately quietened down. "Sam, honey, why's your hair green?"

"What?" He yelped, checking his reflection. "Zoey, can you fix it?"

She looked down at her son. "Henry, did you turn Daddy's hair green?"

"Daddy." He cooed, laughing.

"And I thought you were going to be the normal one." She teased. "You're just like your sister, you know?"

Alice was having a giggling fit, pointing at Sam's hair. Even Cas chuckled. "Zoe, please." Sam pleaded.

She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair. Cas noticed Teddy watch in amazement as it turned back to brown. "There."

"Thank you." Sam sighed, relieved.

"Now, move. I have a customer and your Gigantor self is in my way." She said teasingly.

He obliged, taking the last chair behind the counter. Teddy then approached the counter, holding a protection amulet with a skull on it, a large bottle of dead man's blood, and an invisibility potion. "Does this work?" He asked.

"Guaranteed or your money back." She answered. "Vampire hunter?"

"My specialty." He confirmed. "Wish Uncle Bobby'd told me about this place sooner. You have a lot of cool stuff in here."

"Thanks. It's my pleasure to keep hunters safe." She rang up his total. "Fifteen forty-five."

As he dug out his wallet, Alice pointed to his tattoo peeking through his shirt sleeve. "What's that?"

He pulled it up, revealing a black dragon. "It's the Hungarian Horntail Harry fights in Goblet of Fire."

"That's so cool! I wish I could draw on myself."

Teddy laughed. "I didn't draw these on myself. It's a tattoo and it's permanent."

"Oh." She went back to her coloring page. "My daddy has a tattoo."

"Oh?"

"It's an anti-possession tat." Sam answered.

"Yeah, I got one of those too." He passed Zoey a twenty and his eyes landed on Cas. "Nice tie." He winked, taking his change from the witch.

"Thank you." Castiel said, blushing.

"That it, Mr. Evans?"

"Don't call me that." He frowned. "It's Teddy and I think it is, for now, but I'll be back." He paused. "What's your name?" He asked Cas.

"Castiel."

They shook hands and Cas felt something akin to an electrical jolt when Teddy took his hand. "Well, Castiel, it was a pleasure to meet you. Maybe I'll see you again." Teddy smiled crookedly and left.

"Did he just hit on him?" Sam asked.

"Yes, he did." Zoey snickered, her arms wrapped around Henry. "He's Bobby's nephew, by the way."

"Huh." Sam shook his head. "He's certainly different."

Castiel, however, thought Teddy Evans was a very nice man and he hoped to see the human again, as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Two

Teddy carefully rolled out of the sleazy motel room's bed and pulled his boxers and jeans back on. He was trying not to wake the other man in the bed. One night stands weren't usually his style, but he'd had a few too many beers and the guy was hot. He shook his head and left, driving back to Singer Salvage Yard. "Where you been, boy?"

"On my way back from Minnesota, Uncle Bobby." He winced as pain shot through his head. "Stopped for the night and-" Bobby handed him a bottle of aspirin. "-had too much to drink. Thanks."

The older man shook his head. "Idjit."

Teddy smiled, but it came out more like a grimace. He downed the aspirin and took his bag back to his room, stripping down to get in the shower before he went to fix the 1959 Corvette outside. He pulled his wet hair back, put on an old pair of boot cut jeans that sat low on his hips, and his hi-top black Converse. "I'm going to work on the Corvette." He called, needing a break from hunting.

As he bent over the engine, replacing the battery, he felt someone's eyes on him. He'd probably been out there for a couple hours, listening to My Chemical Romance, and working on the car. It was still a long way from running, but it was getting closer. "Need any help?"

He jumped, hitting his head on the hood. "Damn!" He turned around, his eyes landing on a pair of the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. "Uh, no. Who're you?"

"Dean Winchester. You must be Teddy."

He relaxed. "Oh, right. Yeah, I am." The two shook hands.

"Bobby needs you for a minute."

"Course he does." Teddy groaned, wiping the grease on his jeans. "Good thing I need a beer anyways."

He followed Dean back to the house, checking the Winchester's ass out. He'd have to say, Dean was far more attractive than Sam, but Castiel, the man with the trenchcoat, was absolutely beautiful. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and walked in the living room. "Get it running yet?"

"Nope."

"Dean, I got your call." The sexy, deep, rough voice of the man he'd been fantasizing about said behind him. "What's going on?"

Teddy spit his beer out. "Jesus Christ!"

"No. I'm just an angel."

"Damn straight." He replied, turning around, and saw the look on Castiel's face. "Wait, you're seriously an angel?"

"Yes."

Teddy sat down on the sofa, watching him. He had no idea angels actually existed, but he believed the man for some strange reason. "That's really awesome." He said finally.

"So, Cas, we were worried about you." Dean said, getting to the point. "I've been trying to get ahold of you and you hardly answer me. What's going on, man?"

"I was busy trying to track down Abaddon for you." Castiel said testily. "Since you took the Mark of Cain."

"I needed a way to gank that evil bitch."

"On a scale from Vader to Umbridge, how evil is this chick?" Teddy piped up.

"Umbridge." Dean answered.

"I don't understand."

"So, Vader is the main villain in the Star Wars movies, and he's evil, but he has a good reason. And Umbridge is from Harry Potter. She's not the main villain, but she makes Satan look like a fluffy little sweetheart." Teddy explained.

"Oh. Thank you, Teddy."

His name rolling off the angel's tongue made his jeans tight. Teddy cleared his throat, trying to think of anything else. "So, tell me what's going on?"

"Abaddon's Knight of Hell and the only way to kill her is with the First Blade, which we're trying to find, but you have the Mark of Cain to use it." Dean said. "I took the Mark. Now, the only thing that's left is to find the Blade." He sighed. "Oh, and Z's invited you and Teddy to dinner in a couple days. She said no wasn't an acceptable answer."

Bobby laughed. "Like I'd turn down her cooking. It's a wonder Sammy's not fat. Who's all going to be there?"

"From what I hear, everyone." Dean said, muttering something under his breath. "I gotta pick Rori up from the bunker."

"Go pack a bag, Teddy, and take a shower."

Teddy looked down. "What? Why? I'm not dirty." He glanced at Castiel. "Unless you want me to be."

Dean coughed loudly. "Well, I think that's my cue to leave. Cas, Zoe will have your wings on a silver platter if you don't show up."

"I'll be there soon."

Teddy jumped up. "You know, a shower sounds great. Be ready soon."

After he was clean once more, he packed and pulled a Led Zeppelin shirt on, throwing his bag in the back of his uncle's truck. Bobby was already ready, and they started on the twenty-seven hour long drive.

Teddy ended up driving the rest of the way from Boston to Salem, and pulling in behind an emerald green Corvette. He whistled, getting out and running his hand over the car, before he followed Bobby to the house. Dean and Sam were already there, along with Zoey and a tall, pretty blonde, and shorter brunette. The brothers greeted him, pulling him inside. The little girl, Alice, was sitting on Sam's shoulders, and Henry was on Zoey's hip. "Teddy!" Alice waved wildly, grinning. "And Grandpa Bobby!"

"Hey, Ali!" Bobby grinned at the girl.

"Ali, is it? That's a pretty name." Teddy said, waving back at her.

"Ali's just a nickname. My real name is Alice, but they only call me that if I'm in trouble. Henry calls me sissy, though. He can't talk good yet."

"He can't talk _well_, Ali." Sam corrected.

"Right." She agreed. "So, what's your nickname? Were you named after teddy bears?"

Teddy laughed. "Teddy is my nickname. And, I don't think I was, but my mom might have named me after teddy bears. I never asked."

"Zoey, why is he here?" A man with blonde hair and ocean blue eyes asked, irritated.

Another man, wearing a smirk, followed him. His eyes were light blue, a five o'clock shadow on his face, and his dirty blonde hair was slightly messy. He, however, was dressed in all white. "Because they like me, Mike."

"Oh, can it, Luci." Another man, with golden hair and whiskey-colored eyes walked in, a lollipop in his hand. "She may like you, but she loves me."

"Actually, I love Sam, so shut up. I swear you three act more like kids than the archangels you claim to be." Zoey said, passing Henry to the brunette.

"So, the brunette's my sister, Emily, the blonde is Dean's girlfriend Aurora, but everyone calls her Rori. The guy in all white is Lucifer, the short one is Gabriel, and the other one is Michael. My dad and the prophet of God should be here soon." Sam said. "And, you already know Castiel."

"Well, well, this is my lucky day." Teddy grinned, nodding at the angel.

Castiel also smiled, blushing slightly. "Good to see you again."

"Okay, so, pizza's on the table. What are we going to watch?" Zoey asked.

"Uh, shouldn't we tell them first?" Sam said quietly.

She shook her head. "Harry Potter!" Alice cheered, still on Sam's shoulders.

None objected, so Sam went to put it and, after Teddy got five pieces of cheese pizza, he sat down beside Castiel. Alice followed him. "Can I sit with you?"

"Sure, Ali." He scooted over, accidentally bumping Cas's leg as Alice wiggled in beside him.

Not long after the movie started, Emily jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Teddy noticed Michael follow her and Sam kept looking back, obviously worried. "I don't understand. How did he not know he was a wizard?" Castiel whispered, his breath sending a shiver down Teddy's spine.

"Because his aunt and uncle never told him anything. They don't like Harry."

"Oh, okay."

"Honestly, Cas, you should read the books too." Teddy said. "If you want, you can borrow my copies."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Three

After the movie, Castiel decided he would read the books before he watched the rest of them. Teddy seemed pleased with this, and Castiel once again felt his heart skip a beat. But his attention was diverted from the attractive blue-haired man beside him when Emily stood up. Alice was asleep, stretched across both their laps. "Michael and I are having a baby."

"What? How is that-that kid's going to be an abomination." Dean said.

Michael's icy gaze landed on the older Winchester. "No it will not. I've already checked with my Father."

Dean rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. "Congrats, Em. You're going to be a great mom." Sam hugged her. "I've got a couple pregnancy books if you want to take them back to New Orleans with you."

"Sure, Sam. Thanks."

Everyone else congratulated the mom-to-be and Sam carefully picked Alice up and carried her up to her room. Teddy stood to his feet, stretching. Castiel let his eyes linger on his wiry frame and the curve of his back, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him. Teddy yawned. "Castiel, are you staying?"

"Yes."

"Okay, um, do you mind sharing one of the guest rooms with Teddy? Dean and Rori have the other one, and Bobby's sleeping on the couch."

Castiel nodded, following Zoey down the hall to the spare room. Teddy immediately stripped his t-shirt off, showing off his well-defined chest, and shimmied out of his jeans, pulling on a pair of black sweatpants. Castiel was busy memorizing every plane and tattoo on his body, completely unaware of Teddy staring at him until, "Like what you see?" He grinned, letting his hair out of the ponytail.

All Castiel could think of was the unfamiliar sensation in his groin and he nodded jerkily. Teddy just smiled and slipped under the covers. Cas followed even though he knew he didn't require sleep. For some reason, this particular human had captured his attention stronger than Dean ever did. It was a few minutes before Teddy was sound asleep, his mouth open partly. Castiel shifted carefully, not wanting to disturb him. Soon, Teddy moved as well, resting his head on the angel's chest. Castiel wrapped an arm around the man, wondering what it was about him that captivated him so.

The angel found himself studying Teddy's every feature: the silver stud in his nose, the black one in his right ear, the anti-possession tattoo on his collarbone, the odd triangle with a line down the middle and a circle inside on his left shoulder blade, the detailed dragon on his right shoulder, the weird symbols tattooed on his right ring finger, and the crest like thing on his right shoulder blade. Then, Teddy's grey blue eyes opened and Castiel felt his face flush. "Morning, angel." Teddy said, his voice rough from sleep.

"Good morning."

Teddy stretched, moving away from Castiel and the angel sighed at the loss of contact. "I need coffee." He muttered, his eyes closing halfway as he wrenched the door open.

Sam was already awake with a cup of coffee in hand and breakfast on the skillet. "Coffee?"

Teddy nodded, downing a cup without adding anything to it. He grimaced and then made another cup, adding sugar to it. "Where's Zoey?"

"Bathroom. Emily was sick last night."

"Damn. I am so glad I'm not a woman." He said, sipping the second cup slower.

"Is that the writing off the one ring?" Sam asked, pointing to the finger tattoo.

Teddy nodded. "Yeah. Most of mine are Harry Potter related, though, but I'm just now getting into Lord of the Rings and I love it. I just have to finish the first book sometime."

"You do. It's really good. One of my favorite series, actually."

"The Sherlock stories are mine, but I have yet to find a related tat I like enough to get it."

"What's the crest?" Castiel asked.

"The Hogwarts crest. The lion's Gryffindor, the snake's Slytherin, the eagle's Ravenclaw, and the badger's Hufflepuff."

"From Harry Potter?" There was a note of uncertainty in his voice.

"Yup. You should really watch the _Lord of the Rings_ series. I'd suggest reading the books, but they're really long. But hey, if you want, borrow them after you read Harry Potter."

Before Castiel could answer, the door opened and John Winchester and Kevin Tran walked in. "Hey, Sam." They said, looking a little tired but cheerful.

"Hey Dad, Kevin. Coffee's ready if you need some."

Kevin started to walk past a shirtless Teddy when he stopped. "Uh, your hair's blue."

Teddy grinned, much more awake now. "Yeah. Like it?"

"You pull it off dude."

Sam snorted, taking the eggs off the stove. "Dad, Kevin, this is Bobby's nephew, Teddy. Teddy, the old guy is my dad and the Asian is the Prophet of God."

"Nice. Does it pay well?"

Kevin laughed. "I wish."

When Zoey appeared in the midst of all the males, she gave Sam a quick hug. "Be back later. Council's requesting my presence."

"Uh, okay? Love you."

"Love you too!" She called, slamming the door behind her.

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was at the table in varying degrees of wakefulness. Emily was snoring lightly on Michael's shoulder; Alice and Henry were wide awake, giggling at everything; Dean and Rori were downing their third cup of coffee; Sam, John, and Kevin were awake, and Bobby was still asleep on the couch. Teddy laughed, a deep, joyful sound that made Castiel happy as he sat down next to the human. Sam finally slammed two pots together, causing Bobby to fall off the couch. "Balls!" He yelped, hitting his head.

Emily would have fallen out of her chair had it not been for Michael. "Dammit, Sam!"

"Rise and shine guys!" Sam said happily. "Dig in!"

Bobby joined them at the long table, glaring at Sam. Castiel, however, felt happier than he had in a long time, and he was sure it had everything to do with Teddy Evans.


End file.
